Stranger Requests Pt.4

A reminder from Linkedin arrived, which means that I must attempt contact with the wonderfully illusive Ms. Sheila Paquette once more! Will she respond and end this string of E-mail correspondence? (spoiler: she didn’t) You can read parts three, two, and one if you want to actively become dumber. A man of my caliber lives […]

I Kid You Not

The sucker punch caught you right in the ear and jolted your head to the side. You turn your head back to face the jackass and see their grin immediately give way. They had probably dropped people in the past using a clumsy punch like that. Well, it didn’t catch your temple, or twist your […]

Stranger Requests Pt.3

Correspondence is the act of coming together for oral intercourse, and thereby sharing information and coming to conclusions. Following the AT&T’s advice from the 1980s, I decided to reach out and touch someone for a third time, and that someone whom I wish to speak with would be Sheila Paquette. She has yet to respond […]

Dear Diary

Dear diary, Jessica took my picture today. We are now friends. I visited her last night and watched her sleep. She was so peaceful. She has a lot of nice things in her home, and I tried really not to take anything, but ended up taking a pair of tweezers. I hope she won’t miss […]