Screen Protectors – Total Waste of Money

A typical screen protector

A typical screen protector

A screen protector is a sheet of plastic meant to keep the viewing area of a personal device free of anything that obstructs its view, such as scratches, the user’s fluids, 3rd-party fluids, and dirt. A screen protector is much more readily scratched than an ordinary screen, and also accumulates opaque air bubbles. A screen protector is a very expensive piece of plastic that only serves to detract from your screen’s visibility.

Why in the golden bowl of overflowing fuck would someone waste money on a product so ridiculous?

People are easily manipulated.

There are markets for hats for dogs. There are markets for gold-plated stereo cables that cost 30 times as much as normal cables. There are the Chinese “support our troops” stickers. These products are expensive and exist to satisfy a market where people yearn to express their love for something in the most lazy and unnecessary way possible. In no ways do these products help the people other than serve as an outlet for them to use their money.

A typical aftermarket case

A typical aftermarket case

People may justify the need for these screen protectors by saying that they are rough with their phones, but unless the phones are being kept in a pocket with car keys and jagged ceramic shards, the odds of a scratch occurring are practically non-existent. Companies that make good products use good materials, and screens are already made to be scratch resistant. Apple, HTC, RIM, and all of the other manufacturers aren’t plotting about ways to make their products shitty, it’s quite the opposite. They are putting together good products that don’t need to use the horrible screen protectors put out by ValuStick Screenguardian Inc.

The market for – and markup of – these products is huge. Selling a piece of pre-cut adhesive for 15 dollars, and accumulating 1480% profit is so desirable that you can literally find hundreds of different companies selling these. Don’t waste your 15 dollars buying a screen protector for your phone. Spend that 15 and get yourself a large sheet and a pair of scissors, and start your own business. People aren’t getting any smarter, so demand for screen protectors certainly isn’t diminishing.

Smart people protect their smart phones

Smart people use smart phones

This trend is not slowing down, and capitalizing on the stupidity of others is the dictionary definition of “capitalism”. You can cash in on this and get rich just like other scumbags out there, if your customer base believes that they need your product badly enough. You can be the next guy to put 3 dollar stereo cables in a fancy box and sell them for a hundred dollars. You can make some hats for dogs; an animal that neither needs nor enjoys hats. You could even steal money from patriotic Americans by selling them cheap stickers under the guise of “supporting the troops”.

A product is worth only as much as it’s buyer is willing to pay for it, which is astonishing to think about as it means that people are willing to spend a lot of money on something like a screen protector. They smile smugly at their screen protector as the edges peel up and collect lint. They like knowing that when they sell their phone for 20% of what they paid 2 years ago, the next person can peel the screen protector off and have a pristine, outdated phone.

I hope that you’re looking at your scuffed up screen protector right now, considering taking it off and enjoying your phone how it was meant to be enjoyed. Just do it. It feels so much better without protection.

2 thoughts on “Screen Protectors – Total Waste of Money

  1. not even gonna lie
    u got to be crazy to keep a protecter on yo phone when its all raggedy filled up with air bubbles an shiz
    so f#ckn WACK! you cant even see past it and it looks like a$$!

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