Tips for Moderators

The word “moderator” derives from the Latin “moderatos”, which translates to “one who breathes freshly”. In ancient times, positions of power were given to those that could prove themselves as having the best breath. People would use items of times to achieve this, with the most successful usually being cloves and apple rinds soaked in honey. Something happened around 210 BC, which led to mint being introduced to Europe, and suddenly there was a 5000% increase of viable moderatos overnight. Anyone with access to mint was immediatly granted a position of power.
Even in modern times, candidates for positions of power compete verbally as well as with scent. Obama’s breath has been described as being transported to a world of mint, and George W. Bush’s was once described by Larry King as being “in a minty dream…a paradise”.
I brush my teeth before and after every meal with Colgate Spearmint Blast With Tartar Control, not skimping on attention to my tongue and gums. My breath is what most people notice first about me when we meet. I have lost count of the number of people who smell my breath and say “with a breath like that, you could be a senator!” I just laugh politely, exhaling just enough for them to enjoy.

  • Mouthwash should be used as a compliment to brushing, not a substitute.
  • When breathing onto people, give them warm breath on cold days, and cool breath on hot days.
  • If anyone ever approaches you and offers to “make your breath famous”, politely decline. This is an old scam, and always ends badly.
  • Minty fresh breath is important not only in social situations, but in times when you are required to smell your own breath.

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