A stranger approaches you and stares at you. They say nothing. You can only assume that they are not retarded. And so, you smile politely back, but it seems as though they want something. This kind of situation has never happened to me in real life, but happens with confusing frequency on social media sites. […]
The oddest thing happened as we got back home to survey the damage, and were surprised that our surplus of objects on surfaces had survived and surmised that in addition to prayers helping us out, the greatest credit has to go to Japanese engineering.
I hope you eat tiny balls of shit that look like Cocoa-Puffs for the rest of your life.
Oftentimes when I work on computers, I follow a series of steps, and the first step is always “drink lots of booze”.